I encountered this (sadly non-mythical) beast for the first time in ages the other day. I was returning triumphant with the paper, sailing down a nice long straightish hill, when I noticed a small truck in one of the tracks meeting the road. I started to slow down, thinking the driver would pull out in front of me but he didn’t move, and I assumed he had stopped there for lunch and resumed pedalling. Slow cycling’s all very well, but sometimes you like to have a bit of momentum to get you up the next hill. So when he did pull out, just as I reached the track, I was going considerably faster than him and had to jam on the brakes to avoid ending up as part of his load. Clearly my bicycle-generated magical cloak of invisibility is still going strong, despite being practically the only moving thing for miles around.
It was all the more annoying because the other two drivers I encountered had treated me with almost exaggerated courtesy, hanging behind my shoulder until the road widened, and then passing me slowly and steadily, leaving me as much room as they could without scraping their wing mirrors off on the opposite dyke. I’ve realised now where this behaviour comes from: this is the correct way to pass someone who is riding a horse, a far more common sight around here than a cyclist.
Maybe that’s what we’ve been doing wrong all these years: if all cyclists stood six feet high at the shoulder, weighed 500kg, wore iron shoes and could kick out your windscreen when startled, we’d all get treated with the a bit more respect…
*Sorry Mate I Didn’t See You
February 23, 2009 at 5:33 pm |
^ft tall at the shoulder, and iron shoes? Sounds like you need to ride a tall bike, with clipless pedals. The 500lb though . . . might present a bit of a problem!
February 23, 2009 at 5:44 pm |
Make those very heavy shoes…
It’s the kicking out the windscreen part that’s probably key though
February 23, 2009 at 6:55 pm |
But you wouldn’t want people to follow you around with a bucket for the roses, would you?
February 23, 2009 at 7:01 pm |
He didn’t see you as he was probably listening to, or cursing, his seductively voiced SatNav which had undoubtedly led him well astray! xx
February 23, 2009 at 7:05 pm |
Autolycus – they don’t bother round here there’s plenty of cr*p on the roads without stalking any horses
Flighty – I’d forgotten sat nav, that may well have been it…
February 23, 2009 at 11:11 pm |
lets be carefull out there.
February 24, 2009 at 7:02 am |
Invisibility seems to be a universal problem. You do wear a helmet don’t you?
February 24, 2009 at 8:48 am |
John – I’m being careful – it’s the drivers who need to do their bit
Miss Mary – there’s a whole long complicated debate about helmets and bikes which I won’t go into here because it always ends up starting a fight in the comments section
February 24, 2009 at 9:02 am |
Fight fight fight!
With a little ingenuity it’s perfectly possibly to mount a rocket launcher on your handle bars. You can then blow miscreant drivers off the roads without any bother. And before some pinko liberal driver objects I should add that the effects of this would only be on a par with what that truck could have done to you. I’ve had three friends mashed on country roads – one dead, one severely disabled, one recovered after a few weeks – a rocket launcher might help drivers to be a bit more careful.
Cyclist be warned – locals in the Highlands have no sympathy for cyclists – on single track roads you are expected to give way no matter what.
http://itsagoatslife.blogspot.com/2008/06/friday-night-8.html
February 24, 2009 at 9:11 am |
I think the rocket launcher idea got extensively discussed in my old blog and we decided that recoil would be a problem. Other than that, I can see no flaw with the plan.
I haven’t encountered too much bad driver behaviour (Smidsies are just careless) so far, possibly because the entire economy of the area is more or less propped up by the mountain bikers…
February 24, 2009 at 9:19 am |
smidsys surely.
I only mention it cos I’m paranoid about apostrophes when I comment here!
February 24, 2009 at 9:22 am |
Technically S.M.I.D.S.Y.s but that’s a pain to type, and in English y-plurals always seem to get nativised to i-e-s
Not sure ‘nativised’ is a word, but it is now
February 24, 2009 at 11:40 am |
Maybe this explains why I’ve not been involved in a SMIDSY incident yet – I’m just shy of 6′ at the shoulder, weigh far closer to 500lbs than 0lbs and I’m not averse to kicking out when spooked
Of course it could be that I never see anyone else when I’m out riding too.
February 24, 2009 at 11:46 am |
yup, that’d do it
February 24, 2009 at 5:53 pm |
A pedant writes – as appealing as the rocket launcher does sound, it’s not just the recoil, it’s Newton’s third law that you have to watch out for. One of the most amusing yet poignant things I ever saw was an anarchist who tried to hurl a ride-by brick through a shop window. Ouch.
February 24, 2009 at 6:03 pm |
Hang on, is not the recoil itself a product of Newton’s third law? Should have paid more attention in physics class
you might want to shield your eyes from my next post…
February 24, 2009 at 9:46 pm |
The answer is simple – a recoilless rifle like a Bofors Carl Gustaf 84 ought to do it – it’s more of an anti-tank missile but ought to be good for Vauxhall Novas too.
The smart cyclist would of course incorporate it into the bike frame in a bid to claim benign civilian purpose (“I’m a really clumsy bugger so I have to have this wider crossbar, osifer. It’s hollow for aerodynamic purposes, honest.”)
February 24, 2009 at 10:38 pm |
I think the conservation of momentum will still apply. You’d have to stop and plant both feet before firing, by which time Smidsy will be a dot on the horizon
February 25, 2009 at 2:14 pm |
Having fired one on occasion at arms length, I can tell you that the recoil should be manageable – it’s about the same level as bumping up a kerb. Mind you if you have a close follower they may get singed by the exhaust (which actually mostly counteracts the recoil, rather than being totally recoilless)
February 28, 2009 at 11:27 pm |
to get back to your original post – you’re lucky up there if people pull out for horseriders, very lucky indeed!
March 1, 2009 at 9:41 am |
I’ve not ridden a horse up here, so I don’t know if they always do, but our roads are so narrow, a bit of courtesy is generally needed. Doesn’t always mean it’s forthcoming, of course…