Infanticide

teeny weeny baby broad beans

teeny weeny baby broad beans

I have been spending the last few days anxiously groping my broad beans. Not out of any wierd fetish – at least I don’t think so – but on my mother’s instructions not to pick the pods until I could actually feel the beans inside them. This is harder than it sounds, like so many of my mother’s instructions (‘stop hanging on the small muscles of your back!’) and after a while I was beginning to wonder whether I’d end up with nothing but bruised pods with flattened beans inside them. And besides, the slugs had already started on the biggest ones without me, which wasn’t the point at all. So I decided they were ready and picked and podded a handful for our supper tonight. The result almost – if you squint a bit – covers the bottom of a bowl.

All the same, I think my broad-bean-groping techniques might need a little work. The biggest were okay, but the smallest ones were disconcertingly … well, foetus-like is the only way I can describe them. However, I’m sure they’ll be delicious, and if they’re not you know I’m going to deny it anyway. For home grown vegetables always taste delicious; that’s the rule.

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6 Responses to Infanticide

  1. j says:

    Please don’t use titles like that during the school hols – it may just push some of us over the edge; mind you am sure any teachers reading would have the same impulse term-time ;-)
    j

  2. Excellent. Now please could you post about hanging on the small muscles of your back? I mean what the *** does it mean?

  3. disgruntled says:

    J – oh dear, already? There’s a long way to go (hehe)
    Simon – it’s physiotherapy (or possibly just my mother) speak for slumping instead of sitting up straight. Like I’m doing now, unless I remember

  4. Flighty says:

    I hope that they were as delicious as they look!
    If home grown vegetables don’t taste that good then blame the cook, providing of course that’s someone else!

  5. R::B says:

    I’m doing similar to my peas and hurriedly disposing of the evidence at the scene of the crime!

    I’m having a hard time convincing myself that this is actually good legumiculture and encourages additional pods to set; not just wanton grazing…

  6. disgruntled says:

    Flighty – sadly the cook and the gardener are one and the same. Although, of course, they were delicious.
    R::B – Mmmm. Are you eating them pods and all?

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