A Little Known Offshoot of the War Against Terror…

When we lived in London, the only time the sirens stopped was when England were playing in the World Cup. And even then, you weren’t sure if it was the absence of crime, or the absence of police officers willing to go and fight it that caused the lull. Up here, things are a little different. We had cause to check out the Bigtownshire police report for the year, and found that, while some prominence was given to what appears to be the county’s only murder, slightly more was given to:

The Battle Against Litter

I’d like to report that it’s one that they’re winning, but the litter mongers are like the Taliban only more tenacious and – to be fair – a little less deadly. They’re both rather too fond of roadside devices as well.

There is, however, no news on the war against garden implement theft. Priorities, guys, please.

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4 Responses to A Little Known Offshoot of the War Against Terror…

  1. Paul says:

    I must admit to being a little disappointed to hear that the infamous allotment raider has not been caught, but I am happy to hear that the war against litter is going well…..obviously very few McDonalds nearby, the plastic food emporium that is, not the clan.

  2. Dom says:

    You’ve bought into the rhetoric and hype then have you? Try to look at the facts: Despite the reports supposedly seen by the local council there were no proven Incidents of Mass Littering (or IML as the press have dubbed them). In reality the entire Battle Against Littering was based on reports stating there could be *potential* IMLs among litter mongers. Like so much in this world the whole thing is spin, the Battle Against Littering isn’t being won except on very small scales and you have, in fact, been railroaded into letting the council embark on an unwinnable battle that will just see thousands of pounds thrown at the problem. How many more young litter bins need to be pressed into service only to be vandalised and damaged? When will we see the head litter mongers bought to justice? While they can paint a positive spin on it the battle against litter will be in the spotlight, but I can guarantee as the tide turns and public opinion wanes everything will go quiet in the hope you don’t notice they’re still pouring money and resources into it.

  3. disgruntled says:

    Paul – sadly, bags and cups from the golden arches put in an appearance all along the sides of the road here…
    Dom – save it for the enquiry…

  4. [...] Photography? Or could it be that strimming the vegetation to erect the fence had revealed that the drive-by litter taliban had been at their heinous work again? In which case, expect the whole rural road network shortly to [...]

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