Never mind the Election…

…Let’s talk about the things that really matter. Like what happens when a French (or should that be Australian?) bean decides to come up upside down.

‘What’s that you’ve got coming up in that pot – the swamp thing?’ the other half asked, and looking at it, I could see he had a point. While all the rest of my beans had put up nice green leaves, this one was determined to come into the world backwards. We had our first vegetarian breech birth on our hands, and I didn’t quite know what to do about it.

The correct answer, I suppose, for the sensible gardener, would be to throw that one away and start again. But I didn’t get a great germination rate for my beans, and I’m incapable of being ruthless with my vegetables, and besides, I was curious to see what it would do so I left it to sort itself out.

And lo and behold, it did*, after a fashion.

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Now the real question is whether I’ll ever persuade it to climb up a bean pole.

* The sensible blogger would probably also not have photographed it horribly backlit so the quality of the photos might have been better, but hey, everyone’s wise after the event. If you’ve got an upside-down bean plant, and you want to do a better job, feel free.

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12 Responses to Never mind the Election…

  1. Dom says:

    The sensible blogger would have done what you did, after all, this isn’t a photography blog and we’re lucky to have pictures, especially animated ones ["In my day..." and all that]. But seeing as you’re leaving yourself open for criticism:

    * The plants should be lit with proper studio lighting.
    * There should be a pre-shot background (suitably blurred so it looks natural) making us think the sequence was shot outside in the wild.
    * The camera should have been tripod mounted and not moved.
    * A sequence of shots several minutes apart should have been taken to provide a long sequence at 24fps from initial germination to fully grown plant.
    * The last scene should have been filmed real time and shown the fully grown bean being harvested and eaten by yourself, this should be seamless from the previous stop motion sequence.
    * The resultant film should have been cropped to 16:9…
    * …and presented in HD format (720p at a minimum)
    * David Attenborough should have provided the narration.
    * A short ‘making of’ featurette should have followed showing all the fancy tricks that were used to do it.

    But other than that, great work :D

  2. The Paperboy says:

    Geotropism in action… I seem to remember doing some experiment in biology at high school where a bean was sown in a cylinder of agar which was on a device that made one turn every 2 days or something and the result was a bean with a root that was coiled like a spring.

  3. disgruntled says:

    Dom – slow day at work?
    Paperboy – we never did cool things like that at school.

  4. Stunning photo sequence..but I was wondering….is it….maybe…..time you got a job?

  5. John_in_NH says:

    poor bean, it just got confused!! I am glad you let it be :) I bet it will grow and produce very yummy beans :)

  6. Dom says:

    Long day at work. We had an overnight release that went wrong so I was woken at 11, again at 2 then didn’t go back to sleep, ended up coming into the office for 7. By 3 my brain was fried :)

  7. disgruntled says:

    Mr Goat – this may be why they say ‘don’t give up the day job’
    John – don’t worry, you’ll be kept fully updated
    Dom – ouch.

  8. Anonymous says:

    But if its root is pointing up in the air, what’s keeping it anchored to the soil? A leaf? I say it’s perverse and unnatural and augurs something sinister… about the election maybe…

  9. babymother says:

    Er, that was me being anonymous.

  10. disgruntled says:

    It’s the end times, I tell you

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