Bring on the Safety Ducks

So, it was my birthday yesterday, and there is exciting birthday-related news but you will just have to wait until Monday because that’s when I have to wait till. Suffice it to say that between them my mother and the other half have excelled themselves and it turns out that if you ask for something often enough then eventually it may actually happen. Indeed, I believe that several major world religions are based around just such a premise, though I may be simplifying a tad here.

But anyway – while you, and I, wait with bated breath, I bring you exciting news which is that the ford is almost dry* – for what must be the first time since last April. We went down to check it out for ourselves and on the way back, as we passed the smallholding we like to think of as the Petting Zoo, noticed that two of their ducks were out on on the other side of the road, enjoying the find afternoon. Just as we watched them dither on the verge, apparently deciding whether to cross for home, we heard the thunder of an approaching quarry lorry, scourge of our otherwise peaceful roads. The ducks seemed to hesitate, then think about it, then step out into the road anyway, quacking companionably to each other and making no real effort to hurry. We both winced and couldn’t quite bear to look but lo and behold the lorry – and bear in mind I’ve seen quarry lorries force whole families into the ditch without even slowing as they charge down the road – braked to a walking pace as the two ducks crossed entirely unscathed, without so much as a feather out of place.

There’s been a bit of a campaign against the lorries, which aren’t supposed to use our road at all as it’s not rated for heavy traffic, but nothing has had any effect. The alternative route takes them too far out of the way and so they will continue to cut through whether we like it or not. But now that we know they brake for ducks (though I’ve seen a couple of flattened hens, so it’s not for all poultry) then maybe all we need to do is take on a pair or two each, and let them roam… eventually it’s got to end up being quicker for them to go the long way round.

*The ‘ford closed to pedestrians‘ sign is still there, however, and we believe will be now until the end of time

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8 Responses to Bring on the Safety Ducks

  1. Dom says:

    Belated happy birthday :) Is the ford still actually closed to pedestrians or does the sign now lie?

  2. disgruntled says:

    It was never closed to a sufficiently determined and/or adventurous pedestrian, especially once they had removed the tree.

  3. Flighty says:

    Happy belated birthday, and roll on Monday by the sound of it! xx

  4. Nick says:

    Happy birthday! Next, a water shortage, no baths, no hosepipes for relief of the vegetables. And posts recalling the good old days when the ford was unfordable.

  5. disgruntled says:

    Flighty – thanks!
    Nick – you won’t hear me complaining.

  6. Ross Angus says:

    My guess is that the surprise is a pony.

  7. R::B says:

    If you need any fowl to represent safety, ducks are a good choice. It’s in the name…

  8. [...] so you’d expect they’d not be long for this world – but we already know that trucks brake for poultry, so maybe their owners are onto something. As a traffic calming device, a couple of hens are a lot [...]

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