Hedgehog Pie

It was unavoidable. I hadn’t noticed it on my way out – perhaps it wasn’t there then, because it was pretty recently squashed. Just over the brow of the hill and round a bend, so I didn’t have much warning it was there. Right in the part of the road where I like to ride, where the car wheels have worn the rough tarmac smooth but not yet rutted it out. I hadn’t time to steer around it, and I didn’t want to brake and besides, I thought, it’s already dead. What harm can another wheel do? I’ll just ride over it.

Which is how I found myself spending the ride back watching the splat-splat-splat of the patch of hedgehog gore going round on my front wheel.

In other news, my E number has finally crept up to twelve. Pathetic. Must try harder. If only to ensure that every last molecule of hedgehog has been worn from my bicycle’s tyres…

9 Responses to Hedgehog Pie

  1. Elizabeth says:

    It so good to hear about fellow roadkill so early this morning… I was driving down Huntington this a.m. (the schoolbus route) and I couldn’t quite discern the “hay” in the road. Turns out it was fur, of the quite mangled baby deer, its red guts protruding into the lane, and the pedestrian crosswalk where the kiddies cross to go to school. In front of the daycare. Thankfully I’d just passed a garbage truck– I hope he brought a shovel.

    Death comes not so sweetly to some.

  2. […] eat dolphin-friendly tuna and such, right? I guess, but ther eis just something about stories of untimely animal deaths that amuse me. Not like funny hahahahah, but more like “Check that out… a mangled bambi in the school […]

  3. disgruntled says:

    Oh noooo! They killed bambi!

  4. cha0tic says:

    I thought it was traditional to poke dead things with a stick. Well, unless your a CSI 🙂

  5. disgruntled says:

    Bit difficult from a bike … unless … dead-hedgehog bicycle polo, anyone?

  6. 2whls3spds says:

    Hedgehogs…the UK’s answer to the American Possum or Armadillo, also known as a Battle Possum. And contrary to popular belief they AREN’T born dead in the middle of the road. It has been Bambi season around here too. One guy at work is offering to put “kill” stickers on his truck. He has hit or been hit 4 times by Bambi’s older relatives so far this year. The last incident the deer jumped off an embankment into the rear of his truck…

    Aaron

  7. disgruntled says:

    I don’t know why people bother hunting with guns, TBH, as the wildlife’s so keen on killing itself anyway. I have actaully seen a live hedgehog – but only twice. Unfortunately, rolling yourself up into a ball at the first sign of danger is a poor evolutionary strategy once cars have been invented…

  8. cha0tic says:

    Ahh. Sorry I’m thinking of my rural pedestrian days, when walking to or from the school bus stop. Or a pals house. Any semi flattened creature on the road was fair game for poking with a stick. Mostly to turn it over to see exactly how it’s insides had come outside. Or to check on the state of decomposition. A badger corpse could provide weeks of educational and informative entertainment on the way to and from school.

    You have to realise there were only 3 channels on the TV in those days. Channel Four had started, but we couldn’t get it where we lived.

    I also thought the correct game for rolled up hedgehogs was Croquet, not Polo. Well that’s as far as Lewis Carrol and Disney were concerned.

  9. disgruntled says:

    It was live hedgehogs for croquet though, rolled up into a ball. Once they’ve been run over by enough cars (and bikes) they don’t roll so well, and it would take a good whack even from a polo mallet to get them anywhere.

    Your childhood sounds fun, if a tad malodorous. I suspect kids don’t get that kind of entertainment any more, and CBeebies is no compensation

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