Thanks a Bunch, George

No sooner does George Monbiot declare his campaign against Agas, when our Rayburn – whether piqued at not being included in the cast-iron axis of evil, or coming out in sympathy for its bigger, oil-guzzlingier cousin – goes into a bit of a decline. The problem (annoying green campaigning journalists aside) is apparently due to our habit of not running it hot enough, which saves us fuel, and hence carbon emissions, but means it cokes up quicker. I’m sure there’s some happy medium balancing heating oil consumption by us versus fewer miles driven by Rayburn engineers, but attempting to work it out only served to confuse my poor addled (and now chilled) brain further. And so we have to wait until Tuesday, when the Rayburn engineer can fit us in, and hope the patient survives until then.

I’m not hopeful, though, as it is doing the dreaded Rayburn death-rattle as I type and the temperature in the oven – and the kitchen – is slowly, slowly dropping. Mr Monbiot can be assured that there will be some few grammes of carbon saved between now and then, I suppose. But if I promise to fly nowhere and keep cycling down to the paper shop, do you think I could get him to lay off my main source of heat, comfort, and coffee?


7 Responses to Thanks a Bunch, George

  1. PaperBoy says:

    You could of course choose to ignore Mr Monbiot’s output – I’m sure he consumes more carbons than the rest of us put together, if no other way than by the number of square inches of newsprint and ink he consumes every time he pronounces (not to mention the fuel used by the fleet of trucks used to deliver them to your paper shop).

    I realise it’s not turn-off-and-onnable like a modern appliance but could you not give it a blast to decoke? I ask because my late maternal grandmother was a dab hand at decoking her chimney by occasional controlled chimney fires – saving on the sweep…

  2. disgruntled says:

    Unfortunately it’s not responding to turning up at all, and a chimney fire’s a little drastic for me.

    I was busy ignoring George, but it seems the Rayburn’s a more delicate sould. Bless him, his heart is in the right place but he is so annoying

  3. PaperBoy says:

    I meant a scheduled blast regime *after* the Rayburn Repairman had been – talk to the man – I’m sure he knows how they work.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Hey TM… I know you are a fan of bacon (and who isn’t??) so when I saw this post by my friend on bacon weaving, I immediately thought of you… you could combine your new knitting habit with making a delicious sandwich!

  5. bikinginla says:

    Hmmmmm…here in L.A., it’s not unusual for someone to get coked up. But I can’t say I’ve heard of this Rayburn fellow…

  6. Dom says:

    Your Rayburn is doomed to failure. If you run it too cold it’ll coke up, if you run it too hot you’ll heat up the planet and have to turn it down…. where it will coke up. There is only one solution: Get a patio heater and use that instead 😀

  7. disgruntled says:

    PB – ah yes, I was going to do that & see what’s the minimum it needs to keep it sweet.
    Elizabeth – well, that beats yoghurt whittling into a cocked hat.
    Bikinginla – sadly a coked up rayburn is pretty much the opposite of a coked up human.
    Dom – I know, I know. Or fly somewhere warm…

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