Standing in Notso Bigtown’s only wholefood shop this afternoon, we overheard another customer showing off her latest creation to the assembled staff. This was – how can I put this delicately – a handbag made out of a squashed dead hare. (The head, deliciously, formed an integral coin purse). ‘I keep the head tucked in,’ she said, ‘because it seems to bother people when they see it. And I had to sew it up here,’ she added, showing off the finer details, ‘because it was several days dead when I scraped it off the road. It’s perfect though: combined bag, purse, and children’s toy – look, you can turn it into a puppet*.’
The overall effect was disconcerting, to say the least, mainly because the head had no glass eyes so it looked even deader than your average stuffed animal. But it would be fairly pick-pocket proof, I would have thought – any aspiring Jimmy-the-dip who reached in to that bag was going to come out with more than he bargained for.
She at least seemed to think there was a potential market for them.
‘You don’t see that many hares on the roads, though,’ someone pointed out.
‘No but there’s plenty of rabbits. I’m going to make lots of them. I’m going to call them bunny bags,’ she said.
Hopefully she won’t come to the attention of this lot (scroll down for the real nutters)
* this last is not as far-fetched as it might seem. We were delicately brought-up urban children and one of our favourite toys was an old fox stole, still with the head and paws on.