Roadkill Chic

Standing in Notso Bigtown’s only wholefood shop this afternoon, we overheard another customer showing off her latest creation to the assembled staff. This was – how can I put this delicately – a handbag made out of a squashed dead hare. (The head, deliciously, formed an integral coin purse). ‘I keep the head tucked in,’ she said, ‘because it seems to bother people when they see it. And I had to sew it up here,’ she added, showing off the finer details, ‘because it was several days dead when I scraped it off the road. It’s perfect though: combined bag, purse, and children’s toy – look, you can turn it into a puppet*.’

The overall effect was disconcerting, to say the least, mainly because the head had no glass eyes so it looked even deader than your average stuffed animal. But it would be fairly pick-pocket proof, I would have thought – any aspiring Jimmy-the-dip who reached in to that bag was going to come out with more than he bargained for.

She at least seemed to think there was a potential market for them.

‘You don’t see that many hares on the roads, though,’ someone pointed out.

‘No but there’s plenty of rabbits. I’m going to make lots of them. I’m going to call them bunny bags,’ she said.

Hopefully she won’t come to the attention of this lot (scroll down for the real nutters)

* this last is not as far-fetched as it might seem. We were delicately brought-up urban children and one of our favourite toys was an old fox stole, still with the head and paws on.

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19 Responses to Roadkill Chic

  1. PaperBoy says:

    Well I can see both sides of the argument – what would happen to the hare on the road otherwise – flies, maggots, corvids, skid hazard for Bigtownshire regional council… whereas turned into a bag it’s freaked out a lot of people (Well a lot for Notso Bigtown) – if she was actively mowing down wildlife *then* I have a problem, but pre-mown no issue at all.

  2. disgruntled says:

    I have no issue with using roadkill (although the kites and buzzards would soon deal with it if left) but the end result was very odd.

  3. Jo says:

    Surely it was a bit squished in places?

  4. disgruntled says:

    It was hard to see without staring openly. And I was trying quite hard not to giggle as well.

  5. Jane says:

    I agree that it’s mainly odd in this instance. And as for marketing them – people generally don’t like to be forced to make the conceptual leap between the cutsey and consumer-durable sides of the deal. Lets hope none of her family meet an untimely end, or who knows ( though I am havng fun imagining) what she might create.

  6. huttonian says:

    No relation of Ethylated Prinketts (?spl) I hope

  7. Elizabeth says:

    You have got to be making this up. PLEASE take a pic of this the next time you run into her in whole food store. Please. “Does Bunny have exact change? Let’s have a look see!”

  8. PaperBoy says:

    It would appear that you’ve inadvertently just done it… see the ‘related posts’ at the bottom of the comments on the “confessions of a cutesy wutesy fwuffy wuffy bunny murderer” blog…

    ” Roadkill Chic « Town Mouse (18:00:43) :

    […] she won’t come to the attention of this lot (scroll down for the real […]”

  9. disgruntled says:

    Jane – Granny bags, anyone?
    Huttonian – more like Ethylated Prinketts’ lunch, given that was the fox in question
    Elizabeth – I shall keep an eye out, but I can’t guarantee I’ll have the brass neck to take a photo
    Paperboy – that’s just the track back function at work. They’ll have to crack my fiendish code and work out where Notso Bigtown is first.

  10. Simon says:

    Love it love it love it. I want one.
    Do you think you could ask her for the pattern? Far more interesting than knitting. As we approach lambing ‘they’ll’ be out shooting the crows soon – do you think you could ask her if she’s considered using crows – I think the feathers would be rather fetching.

  11. Jo says:

    Can’t believe I’m going to post this but….

    what about a hedgehog purse?

    That’ll stop any would-be pickpockets, especially if it’s still got fleas.

    And the cat keeps bringing countless voles. Do you think she’d make me some keyrings as stocking fillers? (I’m thinking ahead, here)

  12. disgruntled says:

    Jo – wouldn’t the spines have to be on the inside? Makes hunting for your keys a bit entertaining

    Simon – I’m sure you could design one of your own. Or a crow sporran?

  13. Jo says:

    Fair point.

    This is why I’m not a designer…!

  14. 2whls3spds says:

    Now you have me thinking…what to do with ‘possums plenty of those born dead in the road around here. Raccoons are no problem, they make a nice Coon Skin Cap…you just have to improvise in these tough economic times…

    Aaron

  15. disgruntled says:

    Very Davey Crocket…

  16. Digital Dame says:

    It’s just about Dead Skunk Season over here, I could round up lots of road-kill skunk pelts for her. They’d be flashier with the white and black striping. You know, I bet she’d be thrilled to pose for a photo. Tell her you’re a journalist doing a story on eco-savvy do-it-yourselfer types.

  17. disgruntled says:

    Ah yes, skunk bags. Pickpocket that!

    US roadkill is so much more exciting than the UK kind

  18. Digital Dame says:

    Err…hmmm…if you say so 😉

  19. […] the right and proper way to handle such a thing. I’m not sure I’m quite ready to start scraping hares off the road – even freshly killed ones – but it does occur to me that we might not be quite so […]

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