It’s that time of the year when the fields are full of lambs all busy learning what they need to know in order to grow up to be successful sheep. Which boils down to eating grass, and working out what to run away from

Lambs: Aiiiieee! Mum! Save us! There’s a scary roaring flying monster in the sky!
Ewe: don’t panic, that’s just the fighter planes. We ignore those

Lambs: Oh nooo! There’s a man, a scary man! With a black and white wolf! In our field! Run away!
Ewe: don’t worry that’s just the nice farmer and his dog. He’s the one who feeds us and looks after us and gives us haircuts. And when you’re all big and grown he’ll come and round you up and take you off to, um, university. No need to be frightened of him.

Lambs: Oh, what’s that quiet wheeled thing whizzing past us on the road? That looks interesting, let’s have a closer look
Ewe: OMG*! Tis the cyclist of doom! We flee in terror from her! Run! Run away!

Which is why I don’t have any good piccies of lambs to illustrate this post.

*Because sheep totally talk like they spend all their time on the internet…

9 Responses to Sheepish

  1. I used to think that sheep were stupid (getting stuck in brambles & having to be rescued before the fox comes round is a big clue) (them, not me).

    But having had a pair of them run either side of my front wheel for a couple of hundred yards in perfect formation, before peeling off into their respective fields through all-but-invisible gaps in the fences, I’m not so sure now.

    That’s why I never play cards for money with sheep. They act dumb but I’m sure it’s all an act.

  2. Gregory says:

    The first few lambs I passed on my bicycle today were coming towards me quite friendly. The next field they were more scared and shot of to their mother.

  3. Sheep can be downright devious when they want to be. I’ll never forget one ewe on my mother’s smallholding who flipped the sheepdog over some railings. She dropped ten or twelve feet before slamming onto the concrete below. Amazingly, although she was knocked out and concussed, she was back on her feet in no time, though she kept her distance from the sheep after that.

    A couple of years later, the same ewe did the same thing. Recovery was even faster, but the ewe got her heart’s desire: Fly ignored her ever after and would round up every single ewe, ram and lamb, but not the Dog Hater (as she was renamed).

  4. j says:

    Sort of OT, but thought you’d like this :

    Black Tarmac and Concrete are arguing in a bar.
    “I’m harder than you! I built the M1” Said Concrete.
    Black Tarmac retorts: “I’m harder than you, I built Heathrow’s runways.”
    Just then the door bursts open and Black Tarmac and Concrete go quiet.
    The barman notices this and asks them why.
    “We might be hard.”, says Concrete, “but he’s a bloody cycle path

  5. disgruntled says:

    There’s clearly more to sheep than I thought … (and yes, roast lamb mmmmmm, so perhaps the sheep are right to run away from me)

  6. […] not just the sheep I terrify, then. Really must get a bell on that […]

  7. […] at that point the sheep spotted the scariest thing in the known world – my bike – ripped itself free from the wire, and then – in an act of genius […]

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