A Worrying Development

Walking back through the garden this afternoon, I spotted something apparently hovering in mid-air under a tree. On closer examination, it turned out to be a slug, not hovering so much as dangling from a gossamer thread. I took photos but the camera couldn’t see the point of focusing on the slug when there was lots of lovely scenery to focus on instead, and the slug was swaying gently in the breeze anyway, so you’ll just have to believe me.

As a gardener, I can only think of one explanation for this phenomenom. The slimy buggers are experimenting with parachutes. Clearly their aim needs some work, as this was nowhere near the veg patch, but it’s a worrying sign all the same. Copper rings, egg shells, coffee grounds and grit will form no barrier to para-slugs with forward air capability.  And if this works, can mortars, IEDs and tactical nuclear devices be far behind?

Be afraid, gardeners. Be very afraid.

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14 Responses to A Worrying Development

  1. Flighty says:

    That’s new, and somewhat worrying! Mind you the three trees on my plot are less than a couple of feet high so I don’t think that I need to be afraid yet awhile! xx

  2. sebbie says:

    Of course you could just have enormous spiders capable of taking on slugs. Oh hang on that’s just as worrying for us arachnophobes – eek.

  3. disgruntled says:

    Sebbie – that was my first thought, but then the slug would have to have been in mid air in order to be caught by it.
    Flighty – don’t worry, they’ve probably got a cunning plan…

  4. Ahaa – S-L-U-G-S : Special Lassoo Undercover Garden Slugs. They are probably just on a training mission so nothing to worry about – they’ll be getting posted to Afganistan next month to attack the opium poppies

  5. disgruntled says:

    You know, you may be on to something there…

  6. Nick says:

    Surely the Mk1 leather-soled army boot can still be brought to bear to deal with the problem once they hit the ground.

  7. disgruntled says:

    Depends on how many of them there are…

  8. Jenny says:

    Oh dear, I’d PREFER to think that a large slug made a humungous effort to climb the tree and slipped, and got caught in a gigantic spider’s web? Hmmm, it’s that gigantic spider I’m worried about now.

  9. Jenny says:

    If only I’d read your earlier comments, I’d have seen someone else saw this vision as well. It must be true then.

  10. disgruntled says:

    I prefer the spiders, frankly

  11. R::B says:

    I’ll try to put this delicately…but I think you may have witnessed a slug in the afterglow of slug love… You can probably find footage of such things on youtube. Not that I would know.

  12. disgruntled says:

    what, like this you mean? (that’s one google search I think I’ll be removing from my cache)… but do all slugs do it or just leopard Slugs?

  13. John in NH says:

    that is indeed worrying, and that link on mating slugs, while interesting is leaving my history for sure (what will my gf think!)

    Keep a peeled eye out, I agree the tactical nukes are next, we must be vigilant!

    (in other news this made me laugh out loud, I love your posts, they are wonderful!)

  14. disgruntled says:

    John – thanks very much, glad to be of service…

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