Walking back through the garden this afternoon, I spotted something apparently hovering in mid-air under a tree. On closer examination, it turned out to be a slug, not hovering so much as dangling from a gossamer thread. I took photos but the camera couldn’t see the point of focusing on the slug when there was lots of lovely scenery to focus on instead, and the slug was swaying gently in the breeze anyway, so you’ll just have to believe me.
As a gardener, I can only think of one explanation for this phenomenom. The slimy buggers are experimenting with parachutes. Clearly their aim needs some work, as this was nowhere near the veg patch, but it’s a worrying sign all the same. Copper rings, egg shells, coffee grounds and grit will form no barrier to para-slugs with forward air capability. And if this works, can mortars, IEDs and tactical nuclear devices be far behind?
Be afraid, gardeners. Be very afraid.