Close financial analysis of my vegetable plot – no, wait, come back, I have spreadsheets and everything – have shown that I have already made exactly five quid profit this season (last season it was more than a year before I finally broke even). This is a return on investment of over 7% in six months which is a hell of a lot better than just keeping it in our bank account. Partly this is to do with the £20 worth (and over 2 kilos) of salad we’ve eaten, which some people might argue is a cost. But then, I bet you don’t even know how much salad you’ve eaten over the summer, do you? You see, spreadsheets can be fun!
But the unexpected bonus, uncapturable by spreadsheets, is how decorative a row of bolted lettuces (with the odd bolted onion flower thrown in to give an architectural element to it all) turns out to be. I should really just dig them out but I’ve got nothing waiting to go into that bed so I’m leaving them be out of curiosity to see what the flowers are like. Barely anything down in the flower beds proper looks anything like as smart and grand and colourful (if you ignore the weeds, anyway) as my ex salad patch does. I’ve never been one for all those supposedly decorative vegetable gardens that look neither very productive nor particularly pretty, but I quite like this. Do you think I could achieve this effect if I set out to do it deliberately? Yeah. No, you’re right. Not a hope in hell.
*Actually, pedant alert, the saying is ‘bolting the stable door after the horse has gone (or been stolen)’ – because horses don’t bolt from their stable, they generally bolt to their stable. But a) that then wouldn’t have worked so well as a blog title, and b) that particular battle is lost and, frankly, any attempt to keep correcting common usage is a case of bolting the stable door after the horse has gone. But there was a little part of me that just couldn’t let it go unremarked. And besides, I’ve a wide enough pedant readership that one of you would have undoubtedly corrected me anyway. so there.