Sittin’ Here on the Bench

I think we are now finally prepared for winter.

We have our wood burning stove, in case it gets cold (if anyone had told me last winter that we’d be actually looking forward to a cold snap this year I’d have looked at them as though they were mad). I’ve got my everything-bar-the-apocalypse-proof jacket in case of rain, plagues of frogs and similar. And now we’ve got a bench. Or more accurately – and I can’t really emphasise this enough – the other half has MADE a bench. Out of some bits of shed that out next door neighbour had planned to use for firewood but couldn’t because it was burning too quickly in his open fireplace. He swapped them for some coal we had which we can’t burn in our stove and the other half spent an afternoon or seven removing nails and prising planks apart and salvaging enough solid material to make a bench and a hell of a lot of kindling. And then, for the price of the bolts and a tin of wood preservative he made a bench. This is far more impressive than knitting socks, because, hell, I can knit socks, whereas I know it would be a very long time indeed before I could knock up a bench even if supplied with a deluxe pre-sawn and drilled junior bench-making kit and a team of tame carpenters to assist.

So, we have a bench. And in case you’re wondering how that prepares us for winter – well, obviously we don’t want to be putting out a bench in the summer because that would have ushered in three months of downpours and frankly we’ve done that. No the bench is there in case the weather Gods decide to taunt us and our jackets and our woodburning stove with a mild and sunny pleasant winter. Obviously, that would be truly terrible, and I hope it doesn’t happen but if it does but we will at least have the bench so we can sit on it in the sunshine and dream about the day when we can light our stove.

12 Responses to Sittin’ Here on the Bench

  1. Dom says:

    That looks like quite a good and functional bench. Does it wobble when sat on as that would be the true measure in my mind 🙂

    Still, you’ve taunted the weather gods so don’t come running to us if the winter is so warm you never get to light your stove. You’ve bought it on yourself 😉

  2. disgruntled says:

    what do you mean ‘quite good and functional’? Quite good? It’s an absolutely brilliant bench.

  3. justwilliams says:

    Looks like a very good bench to me and, OK, I will accept your explanation for it being built at this time of the year even if for some reason it brings to mind the phrase “box of” rather than “plague of”. Even so, looking forward to your report when “called to the bench” in mid-January.

  4. disgruntled says:

    Well, if it doesn’t work, it can always go back to being firewood

  5. welshcyclist says:

    I like your logic.

  6. disgruntled says:

    It’s impeccable, and bound to work…

  7. WOL says:

    Kudos to himself and his bench making skills. Still you can make socks to wear when not sitting on the bench because the weather is beastly. You do get points for recycling — and the bench has a name now: “Weather Permitting”.

  8. disgruntled says:

    I can make socks WHILE sitting on the bench. That’ll be perfect

  9. emma c says:

    How clever! Lovely bench. Wouldn’t now some knitted cushions (bot insulation on sunny but cool winter days) be just the thing?

  10. […] having to drive into Bigtown in the sort of rain you only get when you have been energetically taunting the Weather Gods** with half the town flooded and every car park taken up by the preparations for the annual fair, […]

  11. disgruntled says:

    Emma – if today’s anything to go by, I think they’d get rather soggy…

  12. […] and debris. So it was all good, and at lunch time I lured the other half out of his cave and onto the bench with stories of warmth and sunshine and birds singing and everything. After all, now that he has […]

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