… that in the land of endless choices, where ordering a sandwich can take up to fifteen minutes (seven kinds of bread, five fillings, eight additional fillings on top of that, plus extras, and a side, and if you order salad for your side that needs a dressing, and whatever you do don’t order the raspberry vinaigrette because it’s so sweet it actually tasted better on my ice cream than on my salad), the waitress still has to make a special note to the chef to have someone butter my bread? I mean, if a sandwich doesn’t start with buttered bread (sourdough, if you’re interested) what does it start with?
It reminds me of the now legendary time I was ordering a sandwich somewhere in the midwest. ‘You want mayonnaise with that?’ ‘No thanks.’ ‘You want mustard?’ ‘No thanks.’ Pause. Look of horror. ‘You mean you want it DRY?’
For the record, he went ahead and put mayonnaise on it anyway.