We were disturbed yesterday morning by a woman knocking at our door to tell us that, having driven her car through the flood on the road outside with some difficulty, Something Must Be Done and that we should be the Ones to Do It.

‘You need to make some sort of a sign to warn people’, she said and the other half, who was the one who had opened the door, was too polite to point out that he thought that the sign of several yards of water lapping up against the dykes on either side might have been clue enough that this was more than any ordinary puddle. But no, she was insistent on this point, a sign there should be, and we should be the ones to make it, and she walked off back to the car with the air of someone who had Done Something while the other half went back to making home-made Hobnobs completely untroubled by any intention of Doing Anything at all.

I’m not made of such stern stuff, however, and I did toy with ringing the council again but if the news of the storm was anything to go by they probably had bigger fish to fry (possibly literally). I didn’t share her belief in the power of signs, except perhaps if there were enough of them that drivers could use them build some sort of a pontoon bridge across the floods, but I do hold great faith in the power of Poking Things With A Stick so I got my wellies on and our special poking stick out of the shed and went to have a look.

The first problem was that the flood was almost at welly depth, especially where the drainage points were, and the drains on one side were almost completely overwhelmed. On the field side, where the drains are just culverts into a field, it was impossible to see where they were for the water was over the bank and it was only by looking over the wall to see the outlets that I could find which bit to poke. Having oriented myself, I gave a couple of half-hearted jabs around where the drains might be and then a bit of a shoogle and then – glory be – there was an enormous gurgling noise and the blockage cleared and the water started pouring through the culvert into the field. An hour or so later and the road was all but clear except for some mud, a hubcap and a couple of numberplates detached from cars who had taken the water at speed. I couldn’t help but feel a little pride that I had Done Something – and must therefore be Somebody after all.

And that, hopefully, will be the last of the flood posts. Until next week, anyway…

16 Responses to Aftermath

  1. livinginabox says:

    Drivers should use their eyesight and common-sense. If they don’t have either of these, they shouldn’t be driving.

    If someone said: “You need to make some sort of a sign to warn people”, the correct answer is “why?”

    I’m pretty certain it’s illegal to erect signs on Public property without authority. If such an illegal erection resulted in injury or death, one could be liable, both in Law and to being sued for damages.

    Sod the bloody sign.

  2. commuterjohn says:

    The last comment is right on signs and the legality of them and repercussions, but if you thought sod the law, then I know there is one in a hedge by the ford you could have had! 🙂

  3. Jo says:

    One thing you should never poke with a stick: a snoring uncle, recovering from a hangover.

  4. disgruntled says:

    no need for any signs, folks, the flood’s gone…
    Jo – it sounds like you speak from experience?

  5. Flighty says:

    I love the word shoogle! xx

  6. Tickety boo is my favourite Scottish expression
    wishing dryer days… Home made Hobnobs eh?

  7. disgruntled says:

    Flighty – the Scots have all the best words, stramash is my current fave.
    UHDD – recipe here although we haven’t cracked making chocolate ones yet.

  8. Rebecca says:

    I am a great believer in what goes around, comes around. So, since you cleared a flooded road all by yourself, holey moley, you have garnered great gobs of goodie brownie points…which will be distributed when you most need them and least expect them. Because that is how these things work. And, no, my name is not Pollyanna.

    The woman who came complaining to your door, however…

    Well, she is in for a great many people pouring criticism, complaints and blame into her ears. Sucks to be her.

    Big heaps of praise on your head for doing something that will benefit lots of others even though they won’t realize it, and it wasn’t your responsibility. You deserve to feel very pleased with yourself and have as many hobnobs as you please. Because of your good deed, they will have no calories.

  9. Bob says:

    Oh I so wish you had taken her picture and then posted it here for all to see. Mocking someone anonymously is no fun at all. And I WANT TO MOCK HER! Foolish woman. Why oh why would the road, or her inability to see be your problem? Did you not have a dog to sic* on her? That cat’s no use.

    *the verb, not the adverb.

  10. disgruntled says:

    Rebecca – are you sure? Because there’s a lot of butter goes into those things for them to have no calories …
    Bob – fun as it would be, I have to live here and it’s a small world. Though I don’t think she was that local or she’d have known that bit was going to be dicey.

  11. Kim says:

    Butter is fine, so long as it is good quality butter which comes from grass fed cows, it is full of omega threes…. 😉

  12. WOL says:

    So glad you got to have a go at two of the most time honored traditions known to man (or woman, come to that) of poking things with sticks while simultaneously scooshing about in puddles in wellies. That right there elevates the day above the common. But to have accomplished something good and useful in the process. Talk about a win-win outing.

  13. Two great new words learned this evening:
    Scooshing: Couldn’t find an exact match but this was the closest:

    Eee – ain’t education a wonderful thing.

  14. disgruntled says:

    Nigel – I think scooshing as used by Wol must be somewhat more onomatopoeic than that.
    Kim – I’ve a feeling that Tesco value butter probably doesn’t belong in that category…

  15. babymother says:

    I hate to flatter you with yet another comment, but this was a very satisfying post to read. I wonder if emergency relief teams in various flood-hit parts of the world should be equipped with Poking Sticks and instructions on Shoogling them, especially as climate change takes hold?

  16. disgruntled says:

    I feel that Poking Things with a Stick is an under-appreciated method for dealing with most things…

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