ASBO Buzzard

‘That buzzard of yours has been causing trouble again,’ papershop woman announced when I walked into the shop the other day. Apparently, it’s taken to feasting on local bird tables – not bird food, but little birdies as food. I checked that it wasn’t actually a sparrowhawk, but apparently not – the owner of the birdtable in question had surrounded it with wire to keep the sparrowhawks at bay but the buzzard just came along and swiped her puny defences aside with its talon. This switch in diet may explain why it didn’t swoop on us last time we went past – daringly bareheaded – even though it was lurking menacingly on its usual telegraph* pole.

I did try to explain that it wasn’t my buzzard – any more than the cyclists who regularly annoy drivers around here are my cyclists – but my protestations fell on deaf ears. And besides I have been bullied/flattered/strong-armed into putting my name down for the local community council for the parish. I’m not entirely sure what its powers are likely to be – I suspect the square root of bugger all – but I’ve no doubt that if elected (not that it usually comes down to an election around here; even getting enough people to stand is an achievement) – then we will be squarely blamed for everything that goes wrong all the same, and that will include delinquent birdlife.

* see earlier comments regarding telegraph wires.


7 Responses to ASBO Buzzard

  1. commuterjohn says:

    Do I get the feeling that you are being treated as a foreigner in your adoptive home of Scotland?

  2. foreigner, all so known as ‘an incomer’.

  3. disgruntled says:

    heh. Papershop woman is as much an incomer as I am!

  4. […] the way back. On the way out I had passed the telegraph pole* which usually marks the entrance to ASBO Buzzard‘s realm and it wasn’t there so I felt reasonably safe discarding my anti-aerial attack […]

  5. […] in there though) and did my first, and possibly last ever school run – oh, and became a community councillor (with special responsibilities for delinquent wildlife, […]

  6. […] my ride down for the paper today I saw not just our old friend ASBO Buzzard, busy chasing off an interloping red kite from its territory, but a beautiful male kestrel who was […]

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