When Wildlife Goes Bad

I have to admit, I didn’t exactly set out to get the paper with a song in my heart this morning. More of a sort of nervous keeping-one’s-spirits-up whistling. Being struck by a buzzard out of the blue is one thing, and frankly it’s scary enough. Knowingly setting off on your bike to face an angry buzzard is quite another. As I rode down to the papershop I found myself counting off the miles: Nearest Village is pretty safe, then the bit down to the sharp corner is fine, then there’s a long stretch which has never been buzzard infested to my knowledge, then that nice downhill bit to the ruined cottage…

buzzard alley

Here be buzzards

… that marks the entrance to buzzard alley.

The stretch of road where I’ve been attacked only amounts to about half a mile of the whole five-and-a-half mile run down to Papershop Village. Clearly, that’s about the size of an angry buzzard’s territory. It happens to be surrounded by conifer plantation – lots of nice buzzard ambush points – and goes up the longest, steepest hill of the whole ride, meaning any cyclists are going slow enough to be swooped upon. As I approached the entrance, I stopped to put my hood up, nerved myself up, had a quick look around for any obviously enraged raptors, and set off.

To cut a long story short, ASBO buzzard is still there, and it’s still angry. But its aim has either improved or worsened, depending on its intentions, because I only got two close-ish passes this morning, rather than the full buzzard-across-the-back-of-the-head treatment.

And lest you think it’s all wildlife-related terror round here, once safely out of Buzzard territory, I then rounded the corner and encountered two hares who were more interested in either beating or chatting* each other up than me. Apologies for the quality of the photos; my camera phone zoom is worse than useless. But you know what they say: the best camera is the one you have.

hares fighting hares fighting

Anyway, now I am safely in Edinburgh where at least I only have to deal with the trams and the lorries in two dimensions, rather than three. If any of you are also in the city and at a loose end, may I recommend this followed by this?

* Like herons and humans, their fighting and courtship rituals are hard to distinguish

3 Responses to When Wildlife Goes Bad

  1. Bob says:

    Gawd, and here I only have to contend with the starlings dive-bombing the car in the driveway. Keep your hat on..

  2. Chris says:

    i read somewhere that some people would tie zip-ties to their helmets with the ends sticking straight up. I also read that buzzards are more attracted to shiny helmets as opposed to a matte finish.

  3. […] ‘I should probably just wait for you here,’ said the other half as we approached the entrance to Buzzard Alley […]

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