MGIFTCMEATNJ*

It is a reflection of our social media age that a whole new variant of our old friend the MGIF has emerged. MGIF stands for ‘Must Get In Front’ and is the driver who cannot stand to be behind a bicycle even if that bicycle is not holding them up at all, and who overtakes only to to then turn off right in front of you, slam on the brakes because of an oncoming car, or even pull in at the next driveway. But today I encountered a new variant, a driver who squeezed past me where there wasn’t room as we came up to a roundabout, and then sat there in front of me like a great motorised lubbock while tumbleweed blew past on the roundabout ahead, clearly more focused on their phone than, you know, not holding up the cyclist whose life they’d just endangered. I would have passed, but there are drivers you want to keep where you can see them, rather than have them behind you trying to remember how to spell ‘LOL’ as they drive.

There are cyclists who rail at pedestrians who wander all over shared use pathways, more focused on their screens than looking where they’re going or noticing what’s coming up behind them, but not me. Even though it means I have to pass them as slowly and carefully as I might pass a drunk toddler carrying a Ming vase, I am as solicitous of their safety as if I were their mother. Because every such pedestrian, annoying as they are, is one fewer person who is doing the same thing behind the wheel. And that is how I would like them to stay.

*Must Get in Front to Check My Email at the Next Junction**

** although obviously it just as easily could be them checking to see if anyone had responded to their tweet about how they hate cyclists who ride in the middle of the road slowing them down.

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9 Responses to MGIFTCMEATNJ*

  1. Neil says:

    And a pedestrian has every right to meander down a shared use pavement.

  2. commuterjohn says:

    And the more expensive the car the more likely they are to make sure they are the one in front. Well, I suppose that if I had spent £30,000 on a car only to be behind someone on a bike……amazing how sad some people can be!
    PS don’t mention cars with personalised number plates.

  3. disgruntled says:

    Neil – yes absolutely, as I should have said
    John – I’ve never understood why people with personalised number plates drive so badly as they’re so identifiable. I haven’t a hope in hell of remembering a normal number plate but if it’s something like TWAT 1 it makes it so much easier to report

  4. WOL says:

    What, pray tell, is a “motorized lubbock”? just out of curiosity, and also because of a town in Texas without the motor. . .

  5. disgruntled says:

    Well a lubbock is just a great gormless pillock, if that helps at all, and a motorised one is the same thing but much more dangerous and in the way

    • WOL says:

      Thanks for a doozy to add to my collection of pejoratives for all occasions. Many of the inhabitants of said motorless town in Texas (except me, of course) would easily qualify as gormless pillocks, especially when they get behind the wheel. Your term implies first hand knowledge on somebody’s part.

  6. subversivite says:

    ‘A drunk toddler carrying a Ming vase’. Brilliant 🙂

  7. disgruntled says:

    some of those Ming vases we were looking at last week looked like they’d had the drunk toddler treatment…

    • subversivite says:

      Yeah, well our Ming vases all got smashed when the children were small. (It wasn’t the children’s fault – it was all the thoughtless cyclists overtaking them on shared pathways while they were carrying the vases so carefully…)

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