Sunshine is great. It’s pleasant, and it’s healthy in moderation. It warms us, and it makes plants grow and people happy. Here in this blog post I’d like to set out my vision of what I hope Scotland will be like in 2030 if sunshine on most days becomes the norm. I’ve drawn it up in consultation with many stakeholders, including the cat, the Weather Gods and the Tarmac Fairy.
People will smile more. ‘Taps’ will be ‘aff’ earlier in the year. The people of Scotland will largely go an attractive shade of pink, except for those who were already an attractive shade of brown. Coffee on the bench will become a routine. Cyclists will no longer have to apologise for the glare from their legs when they make the switch into shorts. Vitamin D deficiency will be a thing of the past. Suntanning salons will be converted into cake shops and garden centres. The tables outside cafes will no longer be for miserable wet smokers but for chic laughing people with their sunglasses pushed up onto the tops of their heads.
Flowers will bloom all summer and never end up flattened by the rain. The rain will fall at night, keeping the hills green. Cyclists will have a tailwind on the way out, and then also on the way back. Raspberries will be plentiful in the hedgerows. Every bee will happily buzz as it works its way around the garden and we’ll grow french beans and sweetcorn every year.
Summers will be the way you remember them as a child. Autumn will be crisp and cool and smell of woodsmoke. The mist will rise off the rivers but will quickly disperse. It will start snowing big fat magical flakes of snow at midnight on Christmas Eve but the snow will be gone before Hogmanay except in the skiing areas. Spring will come early and the hedgerows will be filled with blossoms. The English will be jealous. Oh God, will the English be jealous…
But what’s that, I hear you say? Just having a vision for something is not the same as achieving it? It’s a terrible waste of time to write a whole document saying how nice it would be if something nice happened? That if wishes were horses then beggars would ride? Well then what on earth is the Scottish Government doing wasting its time producing this?