I am Woman, Hear Me Roar*

We had a bonus afternoon of surprise gloriousness today. The promised milder weather was supposed to come at the cost of gloomy skies, but through some sort of a bureaucratic mixup with the weather gods, we got both sunshine and mild temperatures; I have no doubt that somebody somewhere is being severely reprimanded and/or shunted off to the Rainfall (Atacama Desert) dept for the next millennium. The snow is still hanging around like a houseguest that has outstayed its welcome but the roads are clear, and I’ve an evening appointment tomorrow, so that could only mean one thing: wheel change.

I would like it recorded that I can now do approximately 95% of this All By Myself, with the only hurdle being loosening the wretched wheel nuts on the winter wheels, although this might have been because I was turning the spanner the wrong way. It turns out, simply remembering ‘anti-clockwise to loosen’ is a hell of a lot easier than trying to work out which way might translate as ‘left’ in ‘lefty-loosey’ when you’re standing over an upside-down bike. Also that when the spanner does finally shift, it will do so suddenly and slam your finger into the wheel stays, and that Twitter will not be sympathetic over a fingernail broken in the course of bike maintenance (but then again, why shouldn’t I be able to fix my bike with slightly longer fingernails? Is that not the very essence of Cycle (mechanic) Chic? Of course, I’d probably do better projecting an air of feminine yet practical glamour if I hadn’t got chain oil all over my face in the process…). All that remains is to discover whether I’ve got the wheels back on tight enough that I can cycle to Bigtown and back twice tomorrow. Watch this space. I know you cannot wait to find out.

*With pain; breaking a fingernail actually hurts a lot, and it’s still hurting. You can stop smirking now, Twitter.


3 Responses to I am Woman, Hear Me Roar*

  1. John says:

    Just push a spanner down with your left arm to loosen.
    Push a spanner down with your right arm to tighten.
    It doesn’t matter which way up the bike is.

  2. charles says:

    Get your own ratchet set. It makes tightening and loosening a lot easier. If wheel nuts confuse get a bottle of something nice with a screw top and keep it next to the bike maintenance facility. Most people have no problem working out how to unscrew a bottle or jar of their favorite goody, be it mother’s ruin or chocolate biscuits. Then apply the botle directional guide as appropriately to the said wheel. Simples.

  3. disgruntled says:

    Best bike maintenance tip ever. “and that, officer, is why I have a bottle of gin in my saddlebag…”

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