After digging myself out from under a huge pile of work, and then partially out from under a slightly smaller pile of things put off until after I’d done the work,* there was only one thing to do this afternoon – some therapeutic weeding of the gravel drive. It’s a pointless task but oddly satisfying, and suitably mindless when your brain is feeling a bit fried.

fork, radio, gloves

There was just one problem. I only need three vital bits of equipment to weed the gravel drive: my trusty hand fork, my excellent Showa gardening gloves (nice small fit but no pointless pink polka dots), and Radio 4. Unfortunately the fork had gone missing yet again and no amount of standing around willing it into existence, looking in unlikely places or sifting through the compost heap had turned it up so we were forced to implement the last-ditch emergency fork-finding procedure: buying a new one. Again. And then the other half came in from the pouring rain carrying my radio which had been left outside all night, leaving it looking rather sorry for itself and with a detached aerial to boot

Obviously the internet knows what to do with sodden items of electronics – you pop it in a bag of rice (although thrifty bloggers wait until their other halves have returned from Tescos with a bag of value rice, and don’t stick it straight in with the basmati we were planning on having for supper) so that the rice absorbs the water. I think this may work better with fairly simple objects like phones and less so with radios that have grilles that are just about wide enough to let rice in, and then ever so slightly too narrow to let the rice out again. Still, it’s added a certain grainy quality to the sound.

The aerial reattached by means of a handy paperclip, I gathered all my stuff and prepared for a happy couple of hours reclaiming the gravel from the forces of weediness and restoring my brain after the onslaughts of the forces of stressedness.

Whereupon it began to rain.

So I put on a hat and weeded anyway. After all, I’d already drowned the radio once, and now it has an inbuilt rice-grain desiccant to soak up the rest.

weeded gravel

Hmm. This project is doomed, isn’t it? Perhaps I should face facts and start to do something creative with it, like a map of the world outlined in weeds…

In other news, the random perennials are flowering and some of them are looking rather spiffy.

random perennials flowering

Anyone recognise them?

random perennials close up

* and if you’re waiting for a response from me to an email you’ve sent in the last few weeks, now would be an excellent time to send a nudge.


7 Responses to Forked

  1. Jane says:


  2. PS great post – very amusing and entertaining – as always

  3. stcleve says:

    Its not Himalayan Balsam is it? Get it out pronto if it is.

  4. disgruntled says:

    Definitely not that

  5. Jane says:

    Himalayan balsam is more like a snapdragon triffid cross, with exploding seed pods. very distinctive, including a sickly smell like the homemade rose petal perfume you may have made as a child. (or was that just me and Joanne)

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