Exciting Trench Digging News

I suppose I should be grateful to my phone for choosing the morning after I had just met a series of unfeasibly tight deadlines to die on me. It has been proving erratic for a while, but I like to get as much life out of my stuff as I can before replacing anything, so I was resolutely ignoring it until finally I couldn’t. Rebooting, cache wiping and a factory reset all failed, the phone repair shop admitted that they’d just be googling it the same way I was, so it looks as if it’s time for a new phone (or new-to-me, anyway). Fortunately I have enough offers of people’s cast offs that I probably won’t be left stranded for too long – but today at least I have been phoneless, which also means cameraless.

Which is why you’re not being treated to the exciting (in the very specialised meaning of the word used in this blog) sight of two men digging a trench along the side of our tiny dead-end road (it was quite sweet that they’d even put out roadworks signs, even though it would probably have been less effort to just come round and warn us individually). Screeching to a halt on my bike I said the words that most rural householders can only dream of uttering:

… are you … putting in … fibre … by any remote chance?

Readers, they were. This was exciting enough news that I had to cycle back up the hill to tell the other half (OK, I had also forgotten the Guardian voucher but to be honest, such is our hill, that I normally just donate the Guardian the cost of the voucher if I realise I’ve forgotten it by the time I’ve descended). I leave it to you to calculate the bandwidth* of a slow cyclist on a steel tourer pedalling up a Category 3 climb, but believe me it won’t be the lowest we’ve experienced since moving to the country so this is exciting news

Looked at objectively,I would have to agree with the guy on the digger when he declared it mad to be running fibre up a road that serves a grand total of six houses, but it seems the Scottish Government is committed to rolling out superfast broadband to every house and business in Scotland and amazingly that appears to be what it’s doing. Colour me amazed.

Now we just have to hold them to turning their climate emergency promises into actual policies and we may just be getting somewhere. I might suggest 20mph limits as a good place to start.

* as the lecturer on my IT degree used to say back in the last century, ‘never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of floppy disks** heading down the freeway.’

** younger readers – ask your parents.

8 Responses to Exciting Trench Digging News

  1. Paul says:

    Jealous. Fibre has not made it here and we have way more people who would use it. At least eight houses, perhaps nine.

  2. Chrisfromsweden says:

    Is’nt there a Request For Comment about TCP/IP by Carrier Pigeon?

  3. Jane Schofield says:


  4. disgruntled says:

    @Paul – well if you must live in a great metropolis …
    @Chris – there is! https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149
    @Jane – seared into my memory

  5. Charles says:

    Mind you when I recently stayed in Moffat, a glittering star in the Dumfries and Galloway firmament, the broadband could cope with 20 minutes of Netflix and then collapsed in hysterics. But at least you could read e mail. Much more importantly you could listen to the radio via the Internet, which was a blessing.

    All I need now is for my boots to complete their expensive re-build in Lancashire ready for our next visit in June.

  6. […] buy a paper, bringing us up to a massive three this week. I mean it’s not the ford, or even a new pipeline, but you’ll just have to take what novelties you can get on this blog these […]

  7. […] 14 months after the Scottish Government – at some expense, albeit not directly to us – installed fibre optic cables right up to our front gate, we are now connected up to the superfast broadband network.* I’d […]

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