New Scriptwriters, Please

February 3, 2014

So community council night tonight, and I was a bit surprised to find the ‘police matters’ section conducted in an atmosphere of suppressed hilarity as it didn’t deviate much from its usual course (two police officers we’ve never seen before, nor will we ever see again, come in and introduce themselves as our community policepeople, tell us that there’s no reported crime in the parish, warn us about the latest wheeze among the rural criminal classes – currently wheely-bin towing, whereby young people in cars hang out of the passenger window to grab a wheely bin and then see how far they can tow it before abandoning it three miles down the road in a ditch – inform us that they haven’t found our statues yet, ask us if we’ve anything to report, and leave with relieved looks on their faces). It was only after they’d safely gone that the chair – having kept an admirably straight face throughout – asked if anyone else had noticed that they’d walked in and and officer one had greeted us with ‘Hello, hello, hello’, while officer two had added ‘evening all’…

It made a change from the usual agenda items of dog poo and potholes, I suppose.