Friends don’t Let Friends Grow Carrots

‘What I don’t understand,’ said my gardening friend as we peered at the cossetted handful of carrots I had managed to produce, ‘is how they manage to sell them so cheaply in the shops.’

I had been explaining to her the process by which I had – through diligent chitting, growing on, planting out, covering under cloches, losing most to slugs and repeating several times – raised precisely a dozen carrots. I have not pulled any of them up because, if the last lot of carrots is anything to go by, they never ever look as good as they do when they’re still in the ground and you can’t see what devastation lurks below. And it’s not as if I even like the things. I really should remember that when the seed catalogues are weaving their dangerous magic.

Next year, I swear, if I so much as hint I’m planning to plant them again, you have my full permission to come round and hit me with a stick until I come to my senses. Think of it as an intervention.

See also: tomatoes.

14 Responses to Friends don’t Let Friends Grow Carrots

  1. Flighty says:

    I like them but don’t have much luck growing even half decent ones, although I’ve not looked at some I’m growing in a flower bucket! xx

  2. disgruntled says:

    That would be my next step, were it not for the fact that I’m not, repeat not, trying again…

  3. 2whls3spds says:

    Add just about every vegetable on the list…our garden has all but crapped out this year, too cold, too hot, drought, bad soil (in the new part) Have you ever seen those tiny little ears of corn that are pickled?…well we grew a full crop of those this year 😛 I am glad we aren’t depending on the garden this year, we would be in the soup lines if we were.


  4. disgruntled says:

    It’s been a rubbish year here too, with the exception of the parsnips (so far) and the potatoes and onions. Suddenly the Scottish diet makes a lot of sense…

  5. Andy in Germany says:

    I have the same problem with bike tool catalogues as you do with seeds. I usually can’t afford the tools and just use a hammer instead.

    What about carrot cake? You can’t taste the carrots, or see them, come to that.

  6. disgruntled says:

    we have a recipe for carrot soup which, paradoxically, I like and manages not to taste of carrots. However, I doubt we’ll actually harvest enough decent carrots to make it.

  7. emma c says:

    Your carrots look splendid, better than mine ever were. I had also wondered how farmers manage to make them so cheaply. I am currently cooing over my parsnips as you are over your carrots! And getting nervous about when to harvest…

  8. Go put a warning note in your diary now. to look at the spreadsheet in the dark winter days… do not be seduced again by the glossy pictures…
    (thanks for the ‘cookie’ tip, WordPress fixed for the moment)

  9. disgruntled says:

    Emma, traditionally you wait till the first frost, but they may be enormous by then…
    UHDD – unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be a lasting fix, my carrots are still visible but the latest pic is not. *sigh*

  10. […] I was only ever growing the damn things to prove a point and I wasn’t going to do it again. Ever. And thus my resolve remained until a week or so ago when I finally started harvesting the few […]

  11. […] year, it looks like we’re trying black kale, celeriac and cauliflower (I did try very hard to persuade her against carrots but she’s bent on a path of self-destruction and is giving them an absolute final last […]

  12. […] It wouldn’t be a seed order if some of them hadn’t actually arrived yet, and others weren’t randomly different from what we’d ordered, but we got our French beans for free so we aren’t complaining. There was a fair bit of ‘what were we thinking?’ as we went through our more adventurous purchases (I mean, really, celeriac?) but mainly it’s a mix of old favourites, new adventures and crops drinking at the last chance saloon – I’m looking at you, sweetcorn. And I have definitely, definitely, definitely NOT ordered any carrots. […]

  13. […] up in the farm down the road, they grew carrots commercially back when she was a girl). Even so, remind me not to attempt them again myself, if only because still I don’t really like […]

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